Burying myself in the winter snow

I won’t hide the truth. I have been feeling so, so tired lately.

It has been almost two months since I started my job at a university residence, and so far it has been one (positive) hell of a ride. The students are lovely, each of them unique in their own way, and working in the front office has given me so many precious moments with them already.  This is also the last year of the counseling school, and between the books (many) I have to study for the exams (many) and the search for a suitable place for the required internship, there is a lot going on in my head right now.

Add to the mix writing the first draft of my first novel and lots of problems with some people in my life, and you’ll have a pic of how tired and messy my life has become.

I didn’t plan to take a winter holiday from the blog, but I won’t joke, I sorely need it. I need time, energy, and emotional space to get some things straight (never been good at that). I feel as if my hands are spinning a thousand plates and they’re all gonna crash down if I don’t stop somehow.

I love writing this blog. I love writing this blog because, every two weeks, I see the numbers on Google Analytics grow a bit and I know that you have come back again because you read something useful in my words at a certain point, and that makes me beyond happy. And I feel you deserve more than last-minute, groggily written posts. I don’t want to write stuff just to write stuff, to hit the 2-post-a-week quota, or to preserve a resemblance of regularity. My desire has always been to write about stuff that could be helpful and make your life better, even if by just a tiny bit. That desire has not changed. But my current capacity for holding it has diminished.

My desire, now, is to take a winter holiday. To disconnect for a while, and take care of myself. To rest, and to find the energy to write again. I don’t want to leave this blog, know this. I don’t feel okay with giving you the exact day I’ll come back, even though I expect it to be between the end of January and the beginning of February. Maybe this break will be enough for me to sort everything out, but I do not know that yet.

I apologize. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. I feel sorry that there is not enough space in my current situation to keep this bi-weekly promise to you. I can only wish you to rest well (if you need to rest), to receive great insight from the Winter Solstice (as I too hope), and to spend wonderful holidays, or at least wonderful winter days.

To the new year,
Bianca

P.S. This is a list of wise, wise words written by wise, wise writers. They helped me during these tiring times, and so in sharing them with you, I hope you too will find insight in them. Have a nice reading.

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